Yankee Stadium. Aint it Grand? They are tearing this down and putting up the new stadium by 2009.

HEY CHAD! Did you hear that? They are tearing down Yankee Stadium....

How could you let the home of the Sultan of Swing come down without a last visit?





I think that calls for a ROAD TRIP!

Just no more sleeping in your car in the Village! I still can't believe you didn't wake up on the sidewalk minus your rental car.

This is a rendering of the New Stadium.

YES YES.... You may come again for the opening of that one!

The more the merrier... Jeremy, Scott, Matt, JT.. Charles says we can turn our new apartment into Camp Silva for the event! Don't forget to bring the girls ... and your credit cards..... he he (psst can you say FIFTH AVENUE)

Love you guys.....
J

Could you sell YOUR Parrot?

Recently a complaint was lodged against my blog/journal about the use of expletives. It was offered politely, even complimenting my writing style. My evaluator felt with my excellent vocabulary, that surely I could avoid succumbing to the “lazy way out” using curse words.

I gave this some thought, well actually quite a bit of thought after I got over hurt feelings about it. I really am oversensitive when it comes to my work or criticism of my general personality. Anyway, the truth is that before I moved over blog posts, each one was edited for content and usage. Being aware that some people in this realm might be a little conservative, I felt like it appropriate to edit. I can only imagine what my well meaning critic would have thought of the original piece.

Now to the meat of this commentary and the conclusion of where all that thinking last night led my pen this morning and as usual it goes deeper for me than just “don’t cuss.” When I left Texas for New York City, part of the reason I made the hard decision to go so far from friends and family was the need to escape the feeling of pressure to conform to what other people thought was the right way to be, live, think and act. I found defending myself all the time tiresome.

When I arrived in New York and got over being terrified, I discovered that my field of vision and new surroundings were so eclectic that I was the NORMAL one in the crowd of people rather than the rebel. This was such a hugely foreign state of affairs for me that after I got over the shock of it, I let myself be unabashedly delighted. No one was judging me anymore for outlandish ideas or for not “acting my age”. Instead they were actually interested in what I thought and much less interested in how much younger my husband was than I am or what I was wearing. I was able to stop worrying about what anyone was saying behind my back because these new friends and acquaintances were just too busy to worry about such things.

In my world here, the pressure is still there but it’s different and I think much more productive. Conversations, taking place in cool little bars in the West Village or Chelsea, center around new ideas about writing or films or a new business concept. Questions may sound like this, “So Joni, what’s going on with the new short stories you are working on. WHAT? You haven’t finished them? WHY NOT?” It’s not about what you HAVE done as much as what do you want to do. If you haven’t done what you want to do, what you dreamed of doing, then the attitude is, get off your ass (see! Bottom or buttocks just DON’T work here) THIS is New York City. Anything is possible.

I like the change of pace and attitude here. Sure, there are snotty Park Avenue Trust fund babies, but even they understand the entrepreneurial atmosphere, The CEO of a Fortune 500 company standing next to you at the bar will have a beer with you and a little conversation even if you are a plumber. After all, HE can’t change the pipes under his sink. I like it that people hold your feet to the fire to do what you dream of doing and it’s way more productive to be critical in that way that worrying what people will THINK about you or whether they are speaking to you or not.

So, in the interest of meeting half way, I promise to find neutral ground between being who I am, telling a story, sharing this new world around me and using unnecessary expletives.

Will Rogers once said to “live in a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.” Now that I am so much more comfortable in my own skin, I think I could sell the parrot because I don’t really CARE about the town gossip anymore.

But… in the end…
Sometimes…
A BASTARD is just a BASTARD…
No matter the nomenclature.


Kiss kiss
J

water, warmth, and nites out

This post is an old one too.... the day we went to the play. The water main broke and for a couple of days the water company had us hooked up to the next door neighbor's water. This is the entry for that day.

I'll keep back posting this week and a from time to time but I'll always let you know when I'm going backwards....

I got up this morning SO EXCITED.... I have plans tonight and We are going to have FUN! What more in the world could I ask for than a lazy day puttering around my apartment, writing, doing girl stuff and watching sappy chic movies (yes yes.. Charles was gone to do some renovation work for a friend) and THEN... getting ready for a dressy night out at the Theatre (said with my nose up and a nasal whine)

Let me take a minute here to comment on something that even after five years in NYC I haven’t gotten used to. Spending time getting dressed to the nines and then doing the public transportation thing is just so strange to me. Of course public transportation period is strange to me. And the way these people “gasp” WALK everywhere is just sad. I have learned not to trust these cagey New Yorkers who will tell you it’s just “down the street” and snigger at you as you huff and puff your way for two million miles to the next famous Avenue. As I look around on the subway and train platform, sure enough there are the other women all sparkling and some in furs (ewwwwww WHO is such a pig to wear furs anymore), husbands in black tie all headed for the Symphony or Lincoln Center Jazz or a PLAY just like I am. You would expect there to be more crime, like stealing diamond earrings and necklaces but as Charles reminds me every day, NYC is one of the safest big cities in the US. It’s true, go ahead, look it up. Nevermind, I’ll do it for you!

http://www.netscape.com/viewstory/2006/11/06/new-york-is-americas-safest-city/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nysun.com%2Farticle%2F42552&frame=true

“On a list of America's safest cities released yesterday, New York City is ranked first among cities with a population of more than 1 million. Of cities with populations of more than 500,000, New York took fourth place, behind El Paso, Texas; Honolulu, Hawaii; and San Jose, Calif., according to the annual rankings compiled by Morgan Quitno Press. Of all 371 cities, New York ranked no. 145.”

But lets get back to my day. I was JUST about to put the stuff on my hair to PAINT IT (Charles' words he’s never been able to get this hair coloring thing translated from Portuguese) when thankfully I realized the freaking water was off again. I mean WTF! So I look out the window to see our next door neighbor dropping the hose the water company hooked up to give us temporary water, over our fence and walk back into the house. I mean.. WHAT A FUCKING BASTARD!

I called the water department and threatened to murder them if they didn’t get out here right away and if I missed my play or went looking like an old hag I would do it slowly and painfully and I know how to do that because I'm a sadistic Bitch in real life. (no, I didn’t really say that, but I did bitch loudly)

When the unsuspecting water man got here, and saw that that neighbor had done, he said, Oh well, I can go to the shop and bring you back some 50 gallon drums till we get your water back on. Well of course you can imagine how this met with my current state of mind so after giving him a look of frozen displeasure and telling him how sure I was of his insanity level, I set off to find my OWN solution. I went outside in my pink plaid pajamas that I stuck on under my sexy filmy baby blue night shift with a grey sweatshirt hoodie and big fluffy scuffy houseshoes and BEGGED the other neighbor to PLEASE share Her water with us. The Water Department guy was just standing there staring at me in disbelief. I mean... if he can’t do his job, I can.. I have a NIGHT ahead of Me.. but just in case your worried about the poor water guy... as soon as he got my water going I made sure he went away smiling.


It's time I got going... nails to polish, hair to dry .. I'm going to do the Tuxedo thing tonight. It's cold outside (13 degrees) and the only way I know to stay warm and still be sexy...

kiss kiss
J

Finished back posting for today

OK.. so I went back and picked up a few posts from last year. I'm sure that I will find some more I want to add in as time goes by and I hope it doesn't confuse people. I will try to make sure the dates show.

We are having a lazy day. Last night we took the train into the city and went to Time Square to see Wild Hogs at Charles fave theater. It was soooooooo funny. There was a ticket on our truck when we got back. I guess we are going to have to buy that parking sticker after all cept now it will cost 85 instead of 50. What a bitch.

Yesterday Charles got a sales letter from a car dealership. There was a letter with HUGE title across the top that said... "C Silva is the BOSS!" So Charles cut it out and pinned it to my bedside table. Everytime today I ask him to do something he asks me if I read the sign by my bed. whattttttttttttttttt a smart ass.


I hate that tomorrow is Monday but maybe they will call to tell Me I got the new job.

Crossed fingers....
J

2006 in Review

I dont usually like to do a detailed year in review but since I think this year deserves one, I will brush across some highlights.

I think the best saying for this year is "doors close and new ones open". It's been a year full of job hopping, home hopping and happiness.

I'll go backwards...

My son and family's visit to see Me on Christmas was just awesome. We all had a lot of fun and it was a busy three and a half days. What meant the most to me was that he felt it was important to bring his family to see me at my home. We had a lot of activities but even while time was whizzing by, in the background I slowed the reel down and soaked up things like how he relates to his son and how wonderful their connection is, how he treats his woman and the endless patience he shows. It's almost impossible to describe what it feels like to watch your child be a parent and how the swell of pride overcomes you. So much of the time I was just enthralled while wearing a silly grin on my face. My grandson who is a carbon copy of Josh, isnt very fond of Me and adores Charles but such is life. He's a doll and I'll win him over little by little.

There was the ordeal of the gonecrazyexfriendlandlordLuke. In retrospect, even though losing a friend and getting kicked out of our apartment had it's good end. We now have a great apartment in a great neighborhood and we are REALLY happy.

My beautiful daughter got married this year and I gained a son in law. He's so in love with her and when I see them together I know they will be fine. It's just a huge relief to know that even if I was gone, both my kids will be safe in their lives.

I lost two jobs this year.... bummer. Now I have a job that is less stressful. I don't know if I can afford to KEEP it but for now, I'm enjoying the great commute and the slower pace.

Charles and I had our 5th anniversary in Dec. WOW.... so Mike, I guess you were right... Charles was the best horse... this bet paid off....

Charles and I stay happy no matter WHAT challenges we face. I hope that next year brings a smoother road but I really must say that I still feel so blessed with a great family, good friends both old and new and a wonderful supportive husband. I have to say, I'm a very happy Woman.

Happy New Year!

J

High on Manhattan

I have so much catching up to do. I'm going to start with a the perfect birthday present from our friend Mike. Charles was sweet and gave Me a balloon, some wine and a a birthday cake.

For My birthday, Mike gave us a gift that he knew Charles would enjoy as well. I think at some point Charles mentioned that he would love to take the helicopter tour of Manhattan but that it was something he would never pay for. Mike remembered this and surprised us both by setting up the tour for us.
On the day we were to go, the weather turned very COLD. This is a shot on the short walk from South Ferry to the Helicopter landing that you can see behind Me. I was VERY cold!

Charles and I were both very excited and I thought it was interesting that he seemed a little nervous. It isn’t often I get to observe Charles a little off his stride so I was enjoying every moment of it. I love it when heading out for a special day. I knew there was a chance we might stay in the city afterwards so I dressed for the cold but with an effort to look “cute” .

We got on the train together and started our long journey. We took the train into Penn station and then the subway to the Staten Island ferry that comes up right beside the heliport. I looked out towards the heliport and decided we could just walk. As soon as we stepped away from the windbreak a blast of frigid wet air hit, taking my breath. We looked at each other, laughed and took off running for the heliport office.

After the tragedy of the WTC, almost everything is uber protected so I wasn’t surprised when we had to unload our pockets and coats but it was FREEZING so I was hopping around trying to give them all my “stuff”.

After a bit of confusion about our tickets they handed us these little bags to buckle around our waist and told us to sit down and watch this little show. Essentially it’s to let you know that you are pretty much over water for the whole trip and that if you manage to keep from being beheaded by the blades during a crash the stupid little package around your waist might keep you floating or at least if you die, they can find your body. I don’t think any of this did much to settle Charles’ nerves but it was providing Me an enjoyable show. I was not scared at all and practically jumping up and down to get in that helicopter.

We finally went out side and I managed to get into the helicopter with my bad knee without any embarrassment and get buckled in. When the helicopter took off a Big GRIN settled onto my face and pretty stayed there the rest of the day.

Charles has a grin on his face as well. We looked at each other with delighted smiles and an unspoken "Life is good" which is the mantra of our relationship.

I was in heaven and the site of Manhattan from the air is an experience that everyone should do.

The first thing that hit me as we raised into the air from the tip of the Island was just awe. Every time the pilot banked and turned my tummy would flutter but it was so much fun. I just took a deep breath and relaxed and let my eyes drink in the wonderful sight.

Bonnard and off Broadway...

The night was ever as good as I thought it would be. The Production was off-Broadway and so done on a shoestring. On-stage costume changes and actors playing multiple characters and a three person cast. I love being AT the theater and since I am enjoined from attending as often as I would like by a lack of funds, sometimes I cannot tell if I really like the play or not. I am so delighted to just BE there in that atmosphere.

But it did send Me straight away to find out more about Bonnard and I found something absolutely delightful. It's an epigraph from the painter himself about his craft and I think I will adopt it. For a while anyway, nothing could ever replace My mantra, "without change there could never be butterflies." I know, I know.. get to it.. here it is;

"There is a formula that perfectly fits painting: lots of little lies for the sake of one big truth." Pierre Bonnard

Now certain everyone can see that tiny thought yanked from his philandering mind fits more than just painting. But since this philandering scoundrel piqued My interest and as I was looking for more information on him, I discovered that he DIED on My birthday. Wow.

MOMA has some of his work so now that it going to set off another cultural junket. I must now go to the Museum and sit and stare at his work.

I think I would like to get a framed print of this one. I like it because of the pot of ink and the writer sitting off on the balcony staring out at the city below. That would be Me.... procrastinating picking up the pen. I need to own that one. lol

The play slipped in and out of French, Italian and a little Portuguese which bothered Charles because while I was blissfully ignorant of their mistakes My multi-linguistic husband picked up on mistakes. I have to wonder since this was the closing night for the run of the play in New York city where there are so many critics how it came to be that no one corrected either the actors or the playwright/director.

After the play we wandered down the street in the cold and I felt drawn to this little restaurant and it was a hit. I had this wonderful Duck in a Cassis sauce and Charles had veal. I'm not sure if He really LIKES veal or if he just eats it to piss Me off. Eating veal is RIGHT up there with wearing fur in My list of no nos. Regardless of His food choice both had great food and we ordered strawberry shortcake to share for desert and were immediately sorry We chose to share it. It was a sort of fresh strawberry mousse over ubersoft white cake and covered generously with delicious fresh strawberries. As We were gobbling it up We looked up and grinned at each other.. saying in Unison....

LIFE IS GOOD!

Jeremy,,, and now... Kennedy.....

Today I was remembering the first time I met Jeremy. I guess I was looking at some pictures of Kennedy and I just naturally started drifting back to times past but most importantly, what a good friend Jeremy was to me.

We just seemed to click from the moment Nikki brought him home. Full of life and something else that I will be nice and not elaborate on, I'll just say that he had charisma. Something that has just grown as he got older.

I knew that Jeremy would do something with his life. It was just an impossibility for him to fail. He might have let the tightrope sag from time to time but he always seemed to catch a spark and rise up again.

Jeremy's presence in our lives during a time that for me was a vulnerable and frightening experience of being alone in the world as a single mom lent a certain feeling of safety. Even when he was young, he was a problem solver and even if he had no answers, he had a talent of laughing you out of the dark space so you could figure out a solution on your own.

His friendship with my daughter has given her a no nonsense, no bullshit friend that tells her what he thinks because he loves her and knows that she loves him back even if he pisses her off which believe me has been more than a few times. I know his one moment of relief was when Nikki finally agreed not to make Jeremy a bridesman. HA HA... I of course, was VERY disappointed. What an essay THAT would have made. I'm so happy that he and Nikki have taken care of their friendship over the years. I guarantee that friendship will bear them both through hard times and joyous ones with a little extra support. Sometimes it's that little extra that makes life bearable during the hard times and enhances the happy ones.

Seeing Kennedy and knowing Cyndi gives me so much happiness because of the shine that comes into Jeremy's eyes when he looks at them.


I tease Jeremy about having a daughter being a little taste of payback from the powers above but what I really mean is what a lucky little girl she is to have a dad as special as Jeremy and a Mom as smart and pretty as Cyndi.

I love you Jeremy!

Harley Davis (on)

HEY! HEY YOU! UNIVERSE! Are You LISTENING?

So, I haven't written since I went to the interview and I am here to tell you that it went GREAT. The problem I see is that I think I was the first or second to interview. I REALLY want this job. I really liked CEO. She is a woman and I am a little standoffish about working for a female because I'm so dominant that it causes a rub sometimes. But she was great and I felt really comfortable with her.

The office was a little strange. At first I thought they just moved in. It's an open concept and split up with large open conference areas and a raw cement floor. I have since learned that is a new design called stressed concrete.. lol.. and that's what it is... old concrete. I met several people and they all seemed nice but who ever knows what the team is going to pan out to be once you really start working with them.

She kept looking at things on my resume and saying that she liked this or that or that she liked that I can write etc etc. It was so strange cuz I didn't want to leave. I kept hoping she would go longer. It's right across the street from Madison Square park and the room they use for their events have these old Pre War arched windows them that are gorgeous. I'd love to put together an event in there. After I left, I just went out and sat in the park for a little while enjoying the day then walked over to the N &R subway which connected Me to Penn Station and the Long Island RR and jetted home. The train ride home from the city is longer now but not much, about 10 minutes but that's ok, just more reading.

The commute is much the same as the one I had from my other job. A cab in the morning and a the walk in the afternoon. The salary was back to normal so we could come off of our bread and water diet we have been on. I'm exaggerating of course but we are used to having expendable income and this stint of no money has been an eye opener.

We have been eating better though because I'm cooking instead of ordering out every night. That has been fun because our new apartment has a breakfast bar in the kitchen and Charles sits there and chats with me while I cook dinner. We have a glass of wine and share our respective days.

Last night I missed a meet up with the author of the Black Door, the one that calls themselves Velvet and wears a purple bag over their head for interviews. I'm really sorry about that but I've had a lot going on.

It's hard to keep coming up with reasons to leave so I can go on an interview. You know everyone says, "OH DO NOT quit your job, It's so much easier to find a job while you HAVE a job but that is bullshit. You have to lie. I don't lie, it's really hard for me. I don't like doing that but I HAVE to get a new job. In addition to not taking taxes out of my check which I'm probably going to go to jail for, he's an ass and I cant stand him. I can only go so long before My wonderful personality kicks in and I tell him to go fuck himself and walk out. I'm desperately trying to find another job before that happens.

So, if the Universe is listening...... I REALLY WANT THAT JOB, PLEASE LET ME HAVE IT!

he he.... think they heard that?

J